some quirks

I'm not quite sure what to post about today, and while I have been consciously preparing for a post today, few of my ideas have transpired into practicality. I could discuss the weather of Scotland, but I fear it would bring about resentment from those living in the miserable conditions of Ohio's ever-changing weather. If there were an interesting aspect of my whopping cough, I could talk about this last week and how I had accomplished close to nothing due to a terrible virus I contracted (Don't worry too much. It's dying off now. And no... it's not the SARS virus  - though that does bring up a humorous tale involving all the Asian exchange students wearing medical masks around campus to avoid infection). Or, I could talk about the oddities of a foreign country and aspects of my daily life that I've taken for granted. Since the latter has the best production value, I will discuss it today in the hopes that I don't forget anything too shockingly divergent from The United States. BUT... before I go into those extensive details, I must discuss the most comical aspect of my trip thus far. *Warning: You may find this terribly offensive, but you're choosing to continue reading, so I don't feel too responsible. 

The picture to the left is called The World Map of Stereotypes. An intelligently constructed visual of the world and how most people view it. It's relevance has yet to wane among the 5th floor kitchen occupants. (I share a kitchen with approximately 15 other students from a surrounding area of most of this map. *I often forget what I've typed in previous posts and what I have left out so forgive me if my writing is repetitious.) It has started countless dinner, drinking, or more drinking discussion while also serving an academic purpose of breaking down whatever stereotypes the map is insistent upon. I've included some of my favorites below since the picture is not of the best quality. However, I propose a challenge. Read my clues, take your guess as to which country and then check the answers below.

1) 'Ignorant, Obese, Jesus-Obsessed, Gun-Nuts'

2) 'Maple Syrup-Drinking, Ice Hockey-Playing, Lumbar Jacks.

3) 'Nothing'

4) Cigar-Smoking Communists

5) Björk
6) Bollywood Call Center

7) Ginger-Haired Drunks

8)  Leederhosen-Wearing, Beer-Guzzling, Efficiency Freaks

9) Kung-Fu Fighting Bootleggers

10) Siesta-Taking Bull-Stabbers

11) Binge-Drinking Hooligans with Bad Teeth

12) Middle-Earth

Answers:

1) North America   2) Canada   3) Russia   4) Cuba   5) Iceland   6) India   7) Ireland   8) Germany  9) China   10) Spain   11) United Kingdom   12) New Zealand 

Overall, it's great fun to always be looking at and discussing. We each put our passport photos on our country so we could stereotype on the floor! Of course, I'm kidding. We're a pretty tight-knit group. Now onto the quirks of the country.

Brand Recognition - As much as I am willing to try new things all the time and truly explore, I dearly miss some regular brands of products. Among the most missed would be SpaghettiOs. They're cheap, delicious, and not terrible bad for you. A major comfort for me and it's not here. Instead I found Heinz alphabetti. WOOF. After one can I thought I'd be sick for quite some time. To get an idea of what it's like, take SpaghettiOs, take out all of the salt, and add human blood instead of tomato soup. Now you have Alphabetti!
Since that's the only brand I'm attached to that isn't here, I'll note some UK fascinations with our brands. In any major city you can find at least two or three 'American' candy stores. The stores names, bothersome at the least, include Americandy, United States of Candy, and Barak ObamaOreos. The last, of course, is a joke! The candy in these stores is various and can include anything from Twinkies (I didn't have the heart to let them know they're now illegal) and a Snickers bar (rounding in at 1.8£ or $2.70. I repeat, for a SNICKERS BAR). Next time I come to the U.K., I'll be sure to bring lots of candy with me now that I know it's a hot commodity. 

Hours of Operation - This one I was warned about, and while it hasn't caused me many issues, I find it fascinating. The mall closes at 6:00PM on Saturday and 5:30PM on weekdays. On-Campus eateries close at 4:00PM, and the library closes at 9:00PM most nights (Again, because everyone parties after 9 no matter what day. The University just caught on and took advantage of saving money). You cannot buy alcohol passed 10PM on ANY day. To make up for all this, though, is that everything - yes I mean everything - is open on Sunday. The hours are shortened, but anything you need done on a Sunday can be done if planned properly. 

Television - I'm having a couple issues with this quirk, as the televisions here are few and far between. And watching events (like The Oscars, which I have to regrettably miss) is rarely an option. You aren't able to stream as many videos and certainly nothing that is live. (The British Government charges per TV. The purpose is to be able to note those who are exposed to 'live' programming). It becomes a challenge to me when I need to watch certain movies or clips for a course. Being that I study film, the restrictions are very limiting in terms of availability. There also are no video rental stores around. People just don't have a purpose for it (And while I can see this as a valid argument from the government, I object strongly because there is a great deal to learn from films and television programs that are not widely available). 

The Refrigerator - It's the worst. Literally. Those of you who have been around awhile and remember vividly the days of Lyndon B. Johnson & Richard Nixon's time at the White House (or maybe even further back!) can possibly imagine what their refrigerators looked like. Take that, divide it into 18 boxes, and put a lock and door for each section. That's right folks, our 1 fridge has 18 boxes that we must open with a key. Unfortunately, my box is located on the bottom. The causes two problems. First, imagine your fridge and now pretend that every ingredient was in the very bottom produce drawer. Now, take that produce door and imagine that you have to unlock it with a key just to get a pepper. When you go to the fridge you may forget the key, you may not want to bend over, etc... Secondly, everyone else's boxes drip down to mine. If someone has a leaky milk carton or anything of the sort, it drips down and all over my food. The good news? Well, there really isn't any. I just learned not to buy refrigerated food. 

Eggs - The eggs are HUGE and you don't put them in a fridge. They're fresh, Scottish eggs that come in cartons of 6 (people grocery shop every day. Not a big 'bulk' nation) and last for about a month.

Bathrooms - My Brother In-Law shared this cartoon with me the other day, and I couldn't thank him enough. The accuracy of this is mesmerizing. As I told him, either the pictures are awkwardly similar or there are pictures of underwear on the doors. Another quirk? They call them toilets. I have objected to this custom, as a toilet is the actual bowl. The don't use the word restroom. I now desperately hope this doesn't get too graphic, but the toilets are... unique to say the least. For beginners, the doors to bathrooms don't lock. It's understood that if the door is closed, it is occupied by another. In addition, the toilet bowls are super high off the ground. I could literally swing my legs back and forth as if I were a three-year-old on a grown-up toilet. This is all fine and good, but when one is required to sit down, the bottom of the bowl is a good 2 feet away. If you haven't gotten the drift yet, it might as well be a bidet. It's not a comfortable change at all, and is still taking a while for me to get used to. Oh! And toilet paper is already a prescribed size. Very rarely is it up to the user to pick the amount of toilet paper. Instead, the dispensers offer 2-square pieces out of a mechanism similar to a tissue box. 

That's it for today, my friends. I hope you've enjoyed getting to know a bit more about Scotland. I learn new things every day and look forward to sharing them on here. Until then, another picture and quote. This picture is from my weekend trip to Glasgow. I'll likely be posting more about the trip on Wednesday. This is the oldest Scottish cathedral to have survived The Reformation in full.

To reform a world,
 to reform a nation, no wise man will undertake; and all but foolish men know, that the only solid, though a far slower reformation, is what each begins and perfects on himself.
   
       -Thomas Carlyle